Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
