Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
