I accidentally had phone sex last night
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
