It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
