Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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