I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
