I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
