Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Maybe he injected his testicle?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
