Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
