I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
