wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize