i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
