What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
