my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Holy sore nipples Batman
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
