What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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