I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
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