a queef is a wish your heart makes.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
