Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
