Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
