i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
