Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
where are you?
Hypothermia
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
