worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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