i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
