No stitches, just platelets and will power
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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