Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
