I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
