Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I intend to get homeless drunk
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
