Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
