i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We left the knife in your bed.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
