I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Boobs are out for the taking
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
