ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
