as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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