question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
