i think my tv is drunk
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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