the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
