All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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