How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize