I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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