and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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