Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think my vagina is haunted
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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