he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
