My hair reeks of homosexuality.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
