I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize