check it out our google latitudes are spooning
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Even my vagina gasped.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
