My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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