A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
