I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
