i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Randomize
