She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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