I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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