The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize