Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
