oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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