At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
