So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
