After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
