sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
