So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize