Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
