I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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