He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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