it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
