I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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