need another drink. this is the easiest way
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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