Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
