If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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