Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
